Went several days last week without tears, then came upon Rosie’s straw hat hanging by the front door. What is it about hats?? Went a couple of days more and came upon a pair of socks she’d worn while in Mexico and rubbed them on my cheek. I light a candle for her at night—I forget sometimes and feel guilty. I feel ok sometimes and feel guilty about that. I know Rosie would think me foolish. ...more

The convicts and I, a volunteer, sit in a circle in the prison. We do this every Thanksgiving. Eyes closed, we imagine sitting around a table in a clearing surrounded by a woods in which the parts of ourselves we have exiled live a furtive life.

We sense inside for any exile who might feel safe enough with us now to step out of the woods and join us at the feast. ...more

I walked into the small, overheated, stuffy office for our weekly staff meeting. Andrea, the rector, was there, her gangly body looking uncomfortable on the wooden office chair, her pinched sour face more unpleasant than usual, and her short mousy hair typically unkempt. The light from the window behind her dazzled my eyes, making it hard to look her in the face. On her left sat Frank, the assistant rector, with his cherubic, round, smiling face. On his right, behind a computer screen, sat the awkwardly pregnant parish administrator Nicole. ...more

Our parents, in-laws, aunts and uncles are dropping like flies. Rarely two weeks go by without my hearing about someone’s relative finally giving up or giving in and leaving for good. In most cases, this is good. I know how cold and heartless this sounds, but none of us lives forever, and in the great majority of these cases, the soon-to-be-deceased are more than ready to go. ...more

What does it mean to fall apart? In this age of short fixes and shortsightedness we are encouraged to believe that losing our job, being diagnosed with cancer, or getting divorced is the end of the world.

I spent an extended period of time living at the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas in Ukiah, California. This venerable institution was founded by the late Master Hua. ...more

Some of the most difficult yet profound experiences of my 65 years transpired during the course of five journeys I made to Africa. Four of them took me to Burkina Faso, where I spent many weeks among the Dagara people in the remote tribal village of Dano, near the border with Ghana. Because of its remoteness, the essential elements of the indigenous world had survived in this area despite some 500 years of European colonization. I went there with a teacher, Malidoma Somé, to immerse myself in the rudiments of that world. ...more

At 12 years old I was in a constant struggle with discipline and how things were supposed to be. I didn’t feel good inside. Everyone said I was bright, but there were always problems in school. Poor grades, taking forever to learn, bad attitude, and mouthing off to teachers and coaches. I couldn’t care less. I would lie and cheat if I could get away with it. ...more